1 my 5 day hospital stay

So I told y'all a month ago that I would elaborate on why I spent 5 days at Piedmont Hospital last fall. My stay there really forced me to push pause on my life, and I can honestly say that I didn't leave the same. Disclaimer: There's no way to make this a short story, so grab a snack and get ready to read!

On the morning of October 23rd, 2014, I woke up to a pile of moving boxes and a messy apartment. I was excited about having lunch with my friend Ally (From the Right Bank) and dreading finishing up packing for the move back to NC that I was preparing for that weekend. 

After doing some more packing, I threw my hair into a bun, wrapped a scarf around my neck and ran out the door to meet Ally at this cute lunch place in Buckhead. I remember driving to the restaurant and thinking, "Did I put my contacts in backwards? My eyes feel weird!" (I don't know if any of my fellow contact lenses wearers do this, but I've made the mistake of putting my left contact into my right eye and vice versa several times.) I shrugged it off as nothing, and planned to switch them later.

As Ally and I were catching up through lunch though, I realized that something else was going on. I noticed that my vision was more than blurred; there were spots within my field of vision that were just.... gone. I left lunch, called my eye doctor explaining what I was experiencing and they suggested coming in right away. 

And because I am crazy, I drove myself there without first thinking, "Maybe it isn't a good idea to drive yourself around Atlanta with a vision impairment..."

Nevertheless, I made it to the doctor. On the way, I noticed that my vision was generally clear, but the "pockets" that I could not see were increasing. It's really hard to explain but, I noticed that I could clearly see the car in from of me, but the license plate was completely invisible. Or I looked at where the stoplight should be, and I could see all the clouds in the sky, but the stoplight itself? It was completely "gone" even though I knew it was there.

Once there, my ophthalmologist tested my eyes with every instrument and test that he could, and found nothing wrong with the anatomy of my eyes. At this point, I became really frustrated because the doctor basically insinuated that I was making this up, imagining my symptoms or so stressed that I literally couldn't see. He suggested that if I really was experiencing what I was experiencing, that it had to be neurological and that I should seek consult from a neurologist.

So after this, I'm sitting in the lobby of the doctors office, with no explanation and unable to drive myself home after getting my eyes dilated. While waiting for it to wear off, I called to confirm dinner plans with my friend Kelli and I mentioned that although I felt fine, I didn't think I should drive later because something was going on with my eyes.

Being the great friend that she is, Kelli was concerned and tried to get to the bottom of this situation with me, rather than go grab cocktails & sushi as we planned. After playing doctor ourselves, I called my dad and he suggested that I go to the ER. I do NOT like being a patient, so I did not want to go. Kelli and my Dad convinced me that if I didn't go that night, I could wake up blind, or worse, not wake up at all. 

So, we went to the hospital.

Once there, they put me through triage at the ER and gave me the simple "stacked letter" eye test. I remember not being able to see the big E at all with my left eye but the rest of the chart was clear. With my right eye, I could barely see anything at all. Frustrated and tired, I felt that undeniable pit of fear my stomach. They gave me a quick CT Scan to see if anything showed up in my brain, but nothing came up. The doctor on staff suggested that I stay overnight so that they could give me an MRI in the morning. 

Since Kelli was only in town for work, and had to be there early in the morning, she left and I was there with just the clothes on my back, what I had in my purse and the cell phone charger she most graciously left me. Seriously, I don't know what I would have done that night if Kelli wasn't there!

The next morning, I was given an MRI. For those of you who have never had one, you have to lay down in this big tube that sounds like pieces of metal are banging all around your head. I'm glad that I'm not claustrophobic, because you're in there for a while! At this point, I've called my parents back in NC to let them know what's going on and my dad is in route to GA. 

After a couple hours, a neurologist visits me in the room and asks me a lot of questions and does a series of "tests" to determine what to do next. She shows me my MRI and explains that there are lesions on my brain that indicate I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS). She's a bit perplexed though, because I had absolutely no bodily symptoms or family history, but the inflammation of my brain and the lesions present were aggressive.

My MRI looked something like this, with more lesions (the white spots) present and a ring of inflammation that showed white around the perimeter of my brain.

In this moment, I was in shock and I really kind of went numb. The next step was for me to get another MRI on my spine, to make sure there were no more lesions in my spinal cord. And then I had a spinal tap (lumbar puncture); where they stick this really big needle in your back to get a sample of your spinal fluid. They wanted to make sure this wasn't cancer or an infection.

Another neurologist came in and explained to me that what I was experiencing is optic neuritis. Basically, my brain was so swollen that it was squeezing the optic nerves which supply information from my eyes to my brain. In order to get the inflammation down, I had to have a huge dose of steroids, by IV. So they hooked me up to a machine, and gave me my first dose of "the juice" and I wait.

By this time, my dad has arrived from NC and several of my wonderful friends came by the hospital to check on me. I'm still completely in denial that all of this is happening and thinking about how I need to pack because I'm moving and starting my new job on Monday! It hadn't sunk in yet that this was the beginning of an uphill battle and that my vision wasn't going to come back quickly. Being pumped with steroids sucks, and has all sorts of weird side effects, which I wasn't expecting.

Thankfully, my family and the guy I was dating at the time showed up and completely handled my move over the weekend. My mom came down and helped me wrap up the last details of my move and drove me up to NC. My dad pulled some strings back in Raleigh and got me an appointment with a neurologist right away. When I arrived back in NC, I could not see out of my right eye at all and my left eye had only improved to about 50%. I didn't feel comfortable driving myself anywhere, so my mom and my sister took me anywhere I needed to go. 

I started my new job one day later than my originally planned start date and they had no idea why. I told them that I needed one more day to finish up my move. Starting a new job is always a little nerve wracking, but it's even more strange when your mom has to drop you off and you cannot see out of one eye. I can only attribute me being able to pull it off to the grace of God! 

After a couple of weeks, I was able to see a neuro-ophthalmologist (a brain doctor who specializes in eye conditions) who gave me the go ahead to drive again, with caution. Once I was able to drive again, I felt like I could finally get started on my new normal. With some intentional adjustments, I was able to drive, get settled in my new place and my new job.

So what now? It's been 9 months since my first attack and I have not had another. MS is a hard disease to diagnose and treat, but I am thankful that I have an awesome team of doctors who have gotten me on a treatment plan that seems to be working. The vision in my right eye has not completely returned; I can see out of it, but it is still a bit blurred. I'm able to do everything I need to do though, so I cannot complain. My doctors are pretty confident that I will not have another incident like October as long as I stay on my treatment plan. According to my doctor, sometimes it takes years for the optic nerves to fully recover from attack like mine, so I am especially grateful for how quickly I have rebounded. 

What I learned from all of this: Youth and knowledge allowed me to take my health for granted. I was so focused on my worldly goals that I neglected to appreciate the blessing that it is just to wake up, roll over and to be able to SEE. The whole ordeal, and the months following, really forced me to take stock of what's truly important to me and how I was caring for it. 

If you've read this entire long story, thank you! I hope that sharing my story blessed you in some way and puts a different face on Multiple Sclerosis. Before being diagnosed myself, I only knew one person personally that had been diagnosed, and her story is completely different from mine. If you're reading this and have any questions about MS, have MS yourself and/or just want to connect further, please feel free to reach out! Comment below, email me, or tweet me. I'd love to hear from you! If you want to hear more about what it's like for one woman to live with MS for 20+ years, check out this great blog by Tricia Chandler - www.lovemymslife.com.

And lastly, God is so faithful. And I can only attribute my continual healing to Him. I don't think it was a coincidence that this happened the very week that my friend Kelli was visiting Atlanta and I was planning to move back to NC, where I have the support of my family and friends. I could not have made it through without all of them and I am forever grateful!

8 where i've been for the last year+

...It's been so long I forgot how to log into Blogger. Literally!

It's been quite a while y'all...

Where have I been for the last year or so? Well, "Where haven't I been?" is a better question. In 2014, I was working full-time and in-school part time, I lived in 3 different residences, had 3 different jobs and lived in 2 states. Yep, I moved back to Raleigh, North Carolina in November and I am loving being back in my home city & state.

I started off the year finishing up the last of 13 episodes of Elbow Room - and got to see my work on HGTV! What an amazing experience. I still miss the crew and the fast pace of TV all the time.

I (finally) graduated from Meredith College with my degree in Interior Design & Studio Art. I cannot even describe the level of emotion I felt when I put on my cap & gown that day to walk across the stage. I wrote a little about it on Instagram, which you can read here. I participated in the graduation ceremony on May 3rd, but I still had one class to finish over the summer. By this time, I'd found a Designer position at a small architecture firm in downtown Atlanta and was already working there. The first episode of Elbow Room Season 3 premiered a week later. Talk about an exciting week!

Transitioning into corporate office design was a dream of mine since returning to finish my degree in 2013. When I was hired last year, I was still in school part time and had an hour+ commute each way to my little cubicle Monday - Friday. Getting accustomed to a new field, while tackling school and Atlanta traffic everyday was a lot.

With my commute, every day was a 12 hour day and most of the time, I still had homework to finish for school. My last class met on Saturdays from 8AM to 1PM, so it felt like I had a part-time job until August, when I was finally done. I also became a small group leader for a toddler class at my church, so my Sundays were spent teaching babies about Jesus. :) Blogging just got lost in the shuffle!

In October of last year, after months of stretching myself thin and not taking the best care of myself, my body finally MADE me stop. I spent 5 days in Piedmont Hospital, which I'll tell you more about later. I got sick the same week I was supposed to move to Raleigh to start working for the firm that I am currently with. With God's grace, I made it through that rough patch and was able to start working back at home with my family & friends that I missed so much. Now that I have my head out of the fog of all that, I feel like I can share my evaluated experience with y'all and get back to my normal blogging routine. This blog has always been just as much about my life as it has been about design inspiration, so I feel it's only right for me to keep it an authentic reflection of who and where I am. Last year, I just wasn't in a place where I could do it.

But for those who missed it, I just want to apologize for neglecting this blog for so long. I wrote a similar "I'm back!" post last year and although my intentions were good, I just didn't have the capacity or focus at the time to do it. I've recharged, researched and refocused and I'm ready now!

So, what can you expect moving forward? You'll still hear about what's going on with me, design tips and inspiration, some new technical tips and highlights on the Raleigh area.

What did I miss in your world while I was away? Leave a comment and let me know.

8 *tap tap* is this thing still on?

Happy New Year y'all! I know... it's been a while! Since I last posted here, my life has, yet again, transformed! It's so amazing how no matter how much we plan, God can top your goals and dreams. If you have been following my blog for a while, you know that at the end of 2012 I decided to leave Atlanta and move back home to Raleigh, NC to finish my Interior Design degree full-time. Packing up my life and moving back in with my mom was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I would need about half of the emoji keyboard to really illustrate all of the emotions I experienced during that move, but I pushed through them all because deep down I knew I was making the best choice for me. Being back at Meredith was surprisingly refreshing, my love for Raleigh deepened even more, and I scored an awesome internship for the summer. I started classes in the fall of 2013 with the intention of finishing the LAST 4 classes I needed to graduate and moving on to the next thing in 2014.

Well, when I was sitting in the first day of classes reading through my syllabi, I got a call from Chip Wade saying that he wanted to interview me for a full-time position with his show HGTV Elbow Room. I didn't apply for this position. Someone left the show for another opportunity and somehow my name was suggested as her replacement. You can imagine, I'm immediately excited because I absolutely love this show and isn't the whole point of getting an education to be then gainfully employed in your area of expertise?

...But wait...

The job starts in September? So... what about school? I was falling in love with my Raleigh again, and I wasn't ready to leave my family and friends! Once again, I was challenged to make a difficult decision based on faith. Well, I knew that this job was for me and I couldn't pass it up. So I have accepted the fact that I may not be able to finish my degree in 2013 after all, but would take the opportunity regardless, and plan to finish the classes when I can. I presented my situation to my awesome advisor, fully expecting to hear "Good luck with your job but I cannot help you..." and would you know that we work out a plan for me to stay enrolled in 2 of the 4 classes I needed. The other 2 I will be completing this spring and summer here in Atlanta.

I don't know which scenario gave me more joy; getting a dream job offer back in Atlanta or the reassurance that I would still be able to finish this degree. I truly felt an overwhelming sense of favor in both scenarios, as if God was literally hugging me. I am forever grateful to Chip & Cristi for giving me the opportunity to work with them and to my advisor Dr. Burpitt for believing in me.


SO... Now it's 2014 and I am back in Atlanta, working full time for Elbow Room. We're half way through 13 episodes that will make up Season 3. Man has it been a ride thus far, and I'm loving every minute of it. I am taking one class on Saturdays and will be DONE with this degree by August 2014. My timeline was delayed, but it's still unbelievable to me that I will be finishing this program that I started in 2007! Yes, 7 years ago! I'm living proof that no path is a straight shot to achieving your dreams.


With all that going on, I stopped blogging just so that I could ENJOY it. Another decision that I'm so thankful for because it allowed me to really focus on what is important to me, and find a proper balance. I think we (millenials, social media enthusiasts) can become slaves to online connectedness. I had to take a step back and ask "Who am I serving in all of this?" Your answer may be different from mine, but I think it's an important question to ask. Once I defined that for myself, I was able to prioritize my time and be more present.

I'm excited to get back to blogging and sharing some of my life and design inspiration with y'all again! I started this blog when I started design school, so it's only fitting that I bring you along for the last leg of it. I hope that 2014 has started off amazingly for you and even if it doesn't seem like it has, know that it will get better.

0 why I will never support goodwill again

Sometimes we see something that bothers us enough to make us pause but not enough to make us speak up about it. Such was the case for me about a year ago when I was doing my normal rounds at a Goodwill store in the Atlanta area. As I was perusing one of the racks near the perimeter of the store, I heard what appeared to be a manager speaking very intensely to one of his subordinates. The store design was set up with a tall half-wall which separated the shopping area from the receiving and sorting area. What I heard was coming from this blocked off receiving area. The manager was speaking loud enough that his voice traveled over the wall and smacked me in the ear. I don't remember the exact words he said, but his tone was as if he was speaking to a disobedient dog and the words basically summed up to calling the intended recipient an idiot.

What I overheard was enough to make me stop what I was doing and frown. I did not, however, do anything about it. At the time, I thought, "Maybe that manager is just having a bad day..." and remembered that there is always a bad apple in the bunch. Since then, there have been a few more times when I went to a Goodwill store and behavior or working conditions stuck out to me.

But after seeing this video, posted by one of my Facebook friends, I have decided to no longer support Goodwill stores with donations or my money. I cannot support a company that calls themselves a non-profit and pays disadvantaged/disabled workers pennies per hour while their leadership makes 100s of 1000s (in some case millions) of dollars!

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

This really hit me deeply as I am such an avid thrift store shopper. (About 60% of my wardrobe is thrifted!) You may remember that I even dedicated a Design Talk webisodeto it. And being that Goodwill is probably THE most popular thrift store I feel like in promoting the fun of thrift store shopping I have inadvertently helped their business. What they are doing is disgusting to me. The gentleman in the video said it best, by paying these individuals next to nothing to come to work everyday, Goodwill is telling them that they are not worth it. Every human deserves to be compensated fairly for their work & especially those who have limited capacity to make more. I will no longer be supporting Goodwill, and I encourage you to do the same.

Here are some of my favorite thrift stores in Raleigh that you can enjoy instead:

Cause for the Paws (benefits SPCA)
1634 S Saunders St
Raleigh, NC 27603
(919) 755-8906
http://cfpaws.com/

Father & Sons Vintage
107 W Hargett St
Raleigh, NC 27601
(919) 832-3030
Father & Son on Facebook

2 about high point market

When I was growing up here in North Carolina, I never really got how much of a big deal it was that High Point Furniture Market #HPMkt was less than 2 hours away from my hometown. High Point is such a small little city with absolutely nothing going on. My mother is from Mt. Airy, which is not too far from High Point (and even smaller and slower), so I just had this impression of High Point as another town to be passed through on the highway. It wasn't until I became interested in interior design that I really grasped how influential the spring and fall markets at High Point really are. They are the Mercedes Benz Fashion Weeks of furniture. With that understanding came a strong desire to be apart! #HPMkt is exclusive to those within the furniture and design industry, and I have worked hard to position myself so that I can attend market, not just as a visitor but as a participant.

This is my gratuitous "I'm so happy to be here!" bathroom shot at Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams. :) Being able to attend this market was such milestone for me because I was able to do everything I have dreamed of doing. I visited exclusive showrooms, shook hands with the originators of huge brands. I was also really pleased to be a face of color in the almost completely "vanilla" market. I know it may not matter to some, but I'm always happy to represent those of us brown-skinned girls who love and work in design too.

I was able to choose from hundreds of fabric options and upholstery frames to design custom furnishings for the store. The showrooms themselves were inspiration overload! Imagine real life vignettes from Pinterest boards all jumbled together in one room.

Although I've been before, this time was significant for me because it reminded me that I'm exactly where I want to be in my career right now. I'm doing great in school, and looking forward to actually being DONE in December. I'm working for a great company that allows me to grow as well as practice the design skills I've learned over the last six years. PS - This little vignette reminded me so much of this space I did last year!


I'm so grateful to be at this point! And even though I'll always keep striving for more, it was nice to be able to just sit back and appreciate the moment. Have a great weekend y'all!

0 monday motivation

Last night I got an amazing comment from a woman in Atlanta who says she has been following my blog for sometime. I'm sharing this with y'all not to pat myself on my back, because honestly, these comments just make me so humble. For someone to see all that in me just let's me know that God is working through me. I do my best everyday, but I am far from perfect. I write this blog as authentically as I can, because I feel driven to do so. If there is something you feel driven to do, go after it! Do it! I cannot tell you how many times I've pushed myself to try something, even though I was scared to fail. Every time, I'm surprised by the results I get.

4 2013: putting in work

So what am I doing back in Raleigh, being that my heart is in Atlanta? Well if you've been reading SBP since it's inception, you know that this blog started when I began my interior design degree at Meredith College. (5 years ago!!) In order to understand where I am now, I have to remind you where I was then. I was so passionate about digging into art & design fully, as it was a complete shift from the pre-med track I'd followed during my first degree at Carolina.

I spent the first year at Meredith soaking in as much as I could and then spent an amazing semester in Florence, Italy. I came back to Meredith and the feeling just wasn't the same. I wasn't happy at school or at home, and I wasn't even sure if I needed the (very expensive) degree I was pursuing to do what I wanted to do.

So I left. I packed as much as I could into my car and drove down to Atlanta to crash at my (then) boyfriend's brother's house. I worked very part-time at Old Navy for the 4am - 10am shift until I found a full-time position and literally did nothing but work, apply for jobs, eat and sleep for about a month. Talk about taking a leap of faith... It was the best thing I ever did.

Flash forward through 3 amazing years. I've well established myself as a residential designer, boyfriend is long gone but I have amazing friends and have fallen in love with the city of Atlanta. I am living in my dream little studio apartment, immersing myself in the fabulous Atlanta design & blogging community, having TOO much fun at times and I even finally met a guy that I think is everything.

And then somewhere around the time the leaves began to change and the temperatures dropped this fall, it was as if God clapped his hands really loud and yelled "Time's up!" I suddenly looked around and realized that the way I was living was not going to get me to my ultimate goals. Coming to this conclusion was THE hardest thing I have ever had to do. I feel like everyone spends their 20s figuring out what it is they want in life and what their individual path will be to get there. And the clearer what you want becomes, the more you want it, and the more your habits align with your goals.

At that moment, it became so apparent that my habits were NOT aligned with my goals. You see, although I believe that a great deal of my purpose lies within the interior design profession, my ultimate goal is to be a dynamic impact on my greater community, as a wife, mother and professional. I cannot do that by playing small or safe. I cannot do that without finishing what I start, and I cannot do it without fulfilling all of my potential.

So for me, that means finishing my degree at Meredith + getting myself in a better financial place. This entire year will be devoted to doing just that. And of course, having a little fun along the way.

Thanks for taking this ride with me!

5 blessed

I don't speak a lot about my faith here on the blog, but today I have to say that I'm feeling especially Favored. I don't believe in luck, nor do I believe that you gain success or advantages in life via hours and hours of hard work. Although anyone that knows me will tell you that I work VERY hard, I also make lots of mistakes along the way. Working hard can be the opposite of working smart, when you're busy being busy. What I know for sure is that a higher power than myself guides my steps and fills in when I'm not enough to be my best.

It may seem like I'm speaking randomly, but today as my episode of Design Wars airs on HGTV, the course of miracles that's led me to where I am today is blindingly apparent. When you watch me on TV today, just know that as I was filming this show last year, my personal life was pretty much a complete mess. As the makeup artist on set was touching up my face for the cameras, I didn't even know where I'd be living at the end of that month....

Appearing on this show was a pivotal moment for me for many reasons, and most importantly a reinforcement in my faith that as long as I keep doing my best, He'll fill in the rest. :) The Jill Scott song I posted above captures EXACTLY how I'm feeling; BLESSED.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has shouted me out over the last week, and PLEASE, let me know what you think about the show after you see it!

0 what I'm reading

My sister recommended this book to me at the beginning of February and although I haven't finished the entire book, I HAD to share this with you. This book is AMAZING, to say the least. If you're a person that believes in anything larger than you, this book will reinforce your faith. The premise of the book is to prove that the act of writing down your thoughts/desires/fears literally accelerates what manifests in your life. She gives anecdotal evidence, as well as scientific basis, to help you create a step-by-step system of writing for yourself. The thing I like the most about this book is that there is not right or wrong way to do what she proposes for you to do. This book isn't aimed at a particular race, age, sex, or religion because it works for EVERYONE.

The funny thing about this is, the day that my sister recommended this to me, I had just received a brand new blank leather bound journal and pen as a gift from the Brizo team! I was actually really excited to have a new "sketchbook" and it's almost as if God was giving me a "textbook" on what to do with it, by having Adrianne recommend this book. Since then, I've been writing in that book pretty consistently, and I have to say, it feels great!

I highly recommend you pick it up: either in paperback or on your e-reader. Here is a very animated, but in depth, review of the book from one of my favorite YouTubers - Shira. She's hilarious and her enthusiasm will MAKE you get this book! :)




What are YOU reading right now? If you've already read it, let me know what you think!

2 happy friday + inspiration via L boogie

This week has been a whirlwind & I can't believe that Thanksgiving is NEXT week. Geez! Where did the month go? I'm looking forward to the holidays but it seems like the days leading up to them are speeding by.

I took a few minutes to re-watch this speech given by Lauryn Hill to a group of high school students when she was just 25 years old. It's such a great reminder to stay true to yourself and remember where your strength comes from. This speech is FULL of gems. Perfect quotes to hold on to! As you start your weekend, take a moment to listen and carry them with you.

1 happy friday! + C.R.U.S.H

We made it through another week! Thank you so much for the great feedback on the new look of the blog + our upcoming Design Talk series! The first episode will be posted on Monday ;)

I want to share a video that I saw on Erika's Facebook page this week that really spoke to me... If you are working hard on your goals and feel like you're not seeing your progress fast enough, this video is for you! People who are truly passionate and driven go through this ALL the time. You can do it! Just C.R.U.S.H.




Until next week!

3 working smarter

"Oh! It's Monday again?" That's exactly the words that popped into my head as my eyes peeled open this morning. Where did the last week go? I have a confession, since leaving my full time job my weekly schedule has become more and more unpredictable, and I don't feel like I'm using my time in the best way I could.

I'm all over the place. Designing, teaching, working a part-time job, teaching and splitting my time between friends and family. I feel guilty for just taking time for me! Why? Because I feel like I'm not working smart enough in my productive time. At the beginning of the year I had such a tight schedule that I knew exactly when I had time to work on my business, when I had to work my "day job", and when I had time to play.

Today, I'm determined to start working smarter instead of harder. I need to find that balance between doing what I have to do, need to do & want to do. I have a tendency to go go GO without being strategic and I recognize that I sometimes need to take a moment to think.


Dayka posted this awesome video on Friday and I think it's a great way to start of the week! Check out the video below for a little Monday Morning Motivation.

17 happiness is a form of courage

It's been 20 days since my last post here on SingleBubblePop and that's because I do my best to blog my true self here. Since it's inception in 2007, this blog has been a reflection of my life in every aspect. Those of you that have been following since the beginning have witness me go from a student, to traveling abroad, relocating, starting my career, and becoming a business owner. I've shared my family and friends with you and my love as well, right along with all the beautiful things that inspire me. I feel connected to every person who takes the time to read and for that reason I always try to give you a real reflection of me. This month has been a roller coaster like none other I've ever experienced. While not feeling grounded, I lost my voice for a moment, and didn't feel comfortable writing.

At the beginning of the month, the man who I've spent the last 5 years loving and growing with decided that we are no longer. I had no idea this was coming. Talk about having the rug pulled from under... It took me about a week to literally get it together. I'm not a person who has breakdowns; instead I experience kind of a slow-burn intense anxiety that permeates every moment & breath. I won't get into the logistics that this ending affects, but it changes a lot. Some may say everything. But once I could wrap my head around the idea that the life I envisioned for myself had come to a screeching halt, I picked myself up and chose happiness.

I spent as much time as I could with my amazing friends. Partook in a little retail therapy, because I am fortunate enough to be able to. I got back to work, slowly but surely, on my awesome client projects.

And then a amazing thing happened. The blessings started rolling in. People that I hadn't talked to in months, who had no clue I'd been down started to call. New unsolicited clients. Opportunities I only dreamed for myself came to fruition! I've been oscillating from feeling sadness & uncertainty to joy & hopefulness for the last 20 days.

The thing is, I choose to be happy no matter what. Even when I'm hurt. Life is way too short and I'm overwhelmingly blessed. It's taking me a few weeks to get back the courage to be happy but these few weeks will be a drop in the bucket to my long life. I still have a lot of decisions to make about where I will go & what I will do next, but I'm taking my time to figure it all out. I feel like God is stirring things up in my life right now in preparation for something big.

Thank you so much for bearing with me, and I'll be back to my regular blogging schedule by next week! I have some really great things going on that I can't wait to share with you. I'm also going to update the look of the blog so pardon any mess you may see in the process.

Love,

Niki