1 my 5 day hospital stay

So I told y'all a month ago that I would elaborate on why I spent 5 days at Piedmont Hospital last fall. My stay there really forced me to push pause on my life, and I can honestly say that I didn't leave the same. Disclaimer: There's no way to make this a short story, so grab a snack and get ready to read!

On the morning of October 23rd, 2014, I woke up to a pile of moving boxes and a messy apartment. I was excited about having lunch with my friend Ally (From the Right Bank) and dreading finishing up packing for the move back to NC that I was preparing for that weekend. 

After doing some more packing, I threw my hair into a bun, wrapped a scarf around my neck and ran out the door to meet Ally at this cute lunch place in Buckhead. I remember driving to the restaurant and thinking, "Did I put my contacts in backwards? My eyes feel weird!" (I don't know if any of my fellow contact lenses wearers do this, but I've made the mistake of putting my left contact into my right eye and vice versa several times.) I shrugged it off as nothing, and planned to switch them later.

As Ally and I were catching up through lunch though, I realized that something else was going on. I noticed that my vision was more than blurred; there were spots within my field of vision that were just.... gone. I left lunch, called my eye doctor explaining what I was experiencing and they suggested coming in right away. 

And because I am crazy, I drove myself there without first thinking, "Maybe it isn't a good idea to drive yourself around Atlanta with a vision impairment..."

Nevertheless, I made it to the doctor. On the way, I noticed that my vision was generally clear, but the "pockets" that I could not see were increasing. It's really hard to explain but, I noticed that I could clearly see the car in from of me, but the license plate was completely invisible. Or I looked at where the stoplight should be, and I could see all the clouds in the sky, but the stoplight itself? It was completely "gone" even though I knew it was there.

Once there, my ophthalmologist tested my eyes with every instrument and test that he could, and found nothing wrong with the anatomy of my eyes. At this point, I became really frustrated because the doctor basically insinuated that I was making this up, imagining my symptoms or so stressed that I literally couldn't see. He suggested that if I really was experiencing what I was experiencing, that it had to be neurological and that I should seek consult from a neurologist.

So after this, I'm sitting in the lobby of the doctors office, with no explanation and unable to drive myself home after getting my eyes dilated. While waiting for it to wear off, I called to confirm dinner plans with my friend Kelli and I mentioned that although I felt fine, I didn't think I should drive later because something was going on with my eyes.

Being the great friend that she is, Kelli was concerned and tried to get to the bottom of this situation with me, rather than go grab cocktails & sushi as we planned. After playing doctor ourselves, I called my dad and he suggested that I go to the ER. I do NOT like being a patient, so I did not want to go. Kelli and my Dad convinced me that if I didn't go that night, I could wake up blind, or worse, not wake up at all. 

So, we went to the hospital.

Once there, they put me through triage at the ER and gave me the simple "stacked letter" eye test. I remember not being able to see the big E at all with my left eye but the rest of the chart was clear. With my right eye, I could barely see anything at all. Frustrated and tired, I felt that undeniable pit of fear my stomach. They gave me a quick CT Scan to see if anything showed up in my brain, but nothing came up. The doctor on staff suggested that I stay overnight so that they could give me an MRI in the morning. 

Since Kelli was only in town for work, and had to be there early in the morning, she left and I was there with just the clothes on my back, what I had in my purse and the cell phone charger she most graciously left me. Seriously, I don't know what I would have done that night if Kelli wasn't there!

The next morning, I was given an MRI. For those of you who have never had one, you have to lay down in this big tube that sounds like pieces of metal are banging all around your head. I'm glad that I'm not claustrophobic, because you're in there for a while! At this point, I've called my parents back in NC to let them know what's going on and my dad is in route to GA. 

After a couple hours, a neurologist visits me in the room and asks me a lot of questions and does a series of "tests" to determine what to do next. She shows me my MRI and explains that there are lesions on my brain that indicate I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS). She's a bit perplexed though, because I had absolutely no bodily symptoms or family history, but the inflammation of my brain and the lesions present were aggressive.

My MRI looked something like this, with more lesions (the white spots) present and a ring of inflammation that showed white around the perimeter of my brain.

In this moment, I was in shock and I really kind of went numb. The next step was for me to get another MRI on my spine, to make sure there were no more lesions in my spinal cord. And then I had a spinal tap (lumbar puncture); where they stick this really big needle in your back to get a sample of your spinal fluid. They wanted to make sure this wasn't cancer or an infection.

Another neurologist came in and explained to me that what I was experiencing is optic neuritis. Basically, my brain was so swollen that it was squeezing the optic nerves which supply information from my eyes to my brain. In order to get the inflammation down, I had to have a huge dose of steroids, by IV. So they hooked me up to a machine, and gave me my first dose of "the juice" and I wait.

By this time, my dad has arrived from NC and several of my wonderful friends came by the hospital to check on me. I'm still completely in denial that all of this is happening and thinking about how I need to pack because I'm moving and starting my new job on Monday! It hadn't sunk in yet that this was the beginning of an uphill battle and that my vision wasn't going to come back quickly. Being pumped with steroids sucks, and has all sorts of weird side effects, which I wasn't expecting.

Thankfully, my family and the guy I was dating at the time showed up and completely handled my move over the weekend. My mom came down and helped me wrap up the last details of my move and drove me up to NC. My dad pulled some strings back in Raleigh and got me an appointment with a neurologist right away. When I arrived back in NC, I could not see out of my right eye at all and my left eye had only improved to about 50%. I didn't feel comfortable driving myself anywhere, so my mom and my sister took me anywhere I needed to go. 

I started my new job one day later than my originally planned start date and they had no idea why. I told them that I needed one more day to finish up my move. Starting a new job is always a little nerve wracking, but it's even more strange when your mom has to drop you off and you cannot see out of one eye. I can only attribute me being able to pull it off to the grace of God! 

After a couple of weeks, I was able to see a neuro-ophthalmologist (a brain doctor who specializes in eye conditions) who gave me the go ahead to drive again, with caution. Once I was able to drive again, I felt like I could finally get started on my new normal. With some intentional adjustments, I was able to drive, get settled in my new place and my new job.

So what now? It's been 9 months since my first attack and I have not had another. MS is a hard disease to diagnose and treat, but I am thankful that I have an awesome team of doctors who have gotten me on a treatment plan that seems to be working. The vision in my right eye has not completely returned; I can see out of it, but it is still a bit blurred. I'm able to do everything I need to do though, so I cannot complain. My doctors are pretty confident that I will not have another incident like October as long as I stay on my treatment plan. According to my doctor, sometimes it takes years for the optic nerves to fully recover from attack like mine, so I am especially grateful for how quickly I have rebounded. 

What I learned from all of this: Youth and knowledge allowed me to take my health for granted. I was so focused on my worldly goals that I neglected to appreciate the blessing that it is just to wake up, roll over and to be able to SEE. The whole ordeal, and the months following, really forced me to take stock of what's truly important to me and how I was caring for it. 

If you've read this entire long story, thank you! I hope that sharing my story blessed you in some way and puts a different face on Multiple Sclerosis. Before being diagnosed myself, I only knew one person personally that had been diagnosed, and her story is completely different from mine. If you're reading this and have any questions about MS, have MS yourself and/or just want to connect further, please feel free to reach out! Comment below, email me, or tweet me. I'd love to hear from you! If you want to hear more about what it's like for one woman to live with MS for 20+ years, check out this great blog by Tricia Chandler - www.lovemymslife.com.

And lastly, God is so faithful. And I can only attribute my continual healing to Him. I don't think it was a coincidence that this happened the very week that my friend Kelli was visiting Atlanta and I was planning to move back to NC, where I have the support of my family and friends. I could not have made it through without all of them and I am forever grateful!

0 Lessons from Linwood

It was so refreshing to scroll through social media networks yesterday and see all the love for fathers. With so much craziness going on in the world, I think we are all starving for a celebration of love. Personally, this year was the first year in a long while that I was able to drive 20 minutes down the road to see my dad on Father's Day, and I am so thankful for it!

I started to think about the lessons that I've learned from my dad that carry over into my career in design. Some of these lessons he instilled in me purposely, while others I gleaned from his example.

HAVE FUN
Linwood prioritizes having fun in life. He loves to cook and entertain, ride his motorcycle and hang out with his friends and family. I'm not as good as he is at making time to just have fun, but have realized that it truly does increase my productivity. If I don't take a break to laugh, enjoy some good food and people that I love, my work becomes dull.

DIVERSIFY
Even though my dad has been working in healthcare for half of his life, he also created businesses for himself outside of his formal education. He's previously owned several businesses all while maintaining his specialty in radiologic technology. His entrepreneurial spirit has made me think about how I can expand my design services to help more people in various ways.

KNOW YOUR SKILLS
Spend more than an hour around my dad, and I can guarantee that he will tell you that he has 756 skills. What exactly are all these skills? I'm not sure and I don't think anyone really is. The point is, HE knows. He knows what he's great at and what he's not so great at. (Most of the time) he sticks to what he does well so he's more beneficial to others. When I'm designing, I stick to what I'm great at and rely on a team of experts in areas I'm weak in to support my vision.

VALUE YOUR OWN CREATIVITY
I admire my dad's confidence in his own ideas and vision. When he comes up with something, he doesn't hesitate to share it and believes that people will love it. So many times as a creative we are our own worst critic. There have been so many great ideas that never came to fruition because they were cut from a vision before they were given a chance. Whenever I start to question whether my idea is "good enough" - I think of Linwood and at least take a second look!

WORK HARD(ER)
No professional can succeed without giving 110% to what they do. Growing up, my father taught me that nothing worth having comes easy and pushed me to keep going. Quitting was never an option, and being tired was not an excuse. I appreciate my dad teaching me this at a very young age, because it's definitely got me through when I felt like giving up.

What has your father taught you that helps you in your career? I hope y'all have a great Monday!

-Niki

8 where i've been for the last year+

...It's been so long I forgot how to log into Blogger. Literally!

It's been quite a while y'all...

Where have I been for the last year or so? Well, "Where haven't I been?" is a better question. In 2014, I was working full-time and in-school part time, I lived in 3 different residences, had 3 different jobs and lived in 2 states. Yep, I moved back to Raleigh, North Carolina in November and I am loving being back in my home city & state.

I started off the year finishing up the last of 13 episodes of Elbow Room - and got to see my work on HGTV! What an amazing experience. I still miss the crew and the fast pace of TV all the time.

I (finally) graduated from Meredith College with my degree in Interior Design & Studio Art. I cannot even describe the level of emotion I felt when I put on my cap & gown that day to walk across the stage. I wrote a little about it on Instagram, which you can read here. I participated in the graduation ceremony on May 3rd, but I still had one class to finish over the summer. By this time, I'd found a Designer position at a small architecture firm in downtown Atlanta and was already working there. The first episode of Elbow Room Season 3 premiered a week later. Talk about an exciting week!

Transitioning into corporate office design was a dream of mine since returning to finish my degree in 2013. When I was hired last year, I was still in school part time and had an hour+ commute each way to my little cubicle Monday - Friday. Getting accustomed to a new field, while tackling school and Atlanta traffic everyday was a lot.

With my commute, every day was a 12 hour day and most of the time, I still had homework to finish for school. My last class met on Saturdays from 8AM to 1PM, so it felt like I had a part-time job until August, when I was finally done. I also became a small group leader for a toddler class at my church, so my Sundays were spent teaching babies about Jesus. :) Blogging just got lost in the shuffle!

In October of last year, after months of stretching myself thin and not taking the best care of myself, my body finally MADE me stop. I spent 5 days in Piedmont Hospital, which I'll tell you more about later. I got sick the same week I was supposed to move to Raleigh to start working for the firm that I am currently with. With God's grace, I made it through that rough patch and was able to start working back at home with my family & friends that I missed so much. Now that I have my head out of the fog of all that, I feel like I can share my evaluated experience with y'all and get back to my normal blogging routine. This blog has always been just as much about my life as it has been about design inspiration, so I feel it's only right for me to keep it an authentic reflection of who and where I am. Last year, I just wasn't in a place where I could do it.

But for those who missed it, I just want to apologize for neglecting this blog for so long. I wrote a similar "I'm back!" post last year and although my intentions were good, I just didn't have the capacity or focus at the time to do it. I've recharged, researched and refocused and I'm ready now!

So, what can you expect moving forward? You'll still hear about what's going on with me, design tips and inspiration, some new technical tips and highlights on the Raleigh area.

What did I miss in your world while I was away? Leave a comment and let me know.

0 interior design memories

My sister and I, back in the day. Yes, I know I'm missing some teeth there. :)

Some of my early memories of interior design come from my grandparents house in Mt. Airy, North Carolina. The house was small, and it was a 1960s ranch style that sat in the foothills of Pilot Mountain. It was completely unassuming from the outside, but was packed full of design details.

The front yard had fragrant bushes, and my Papa always had his truck parked beside the garage. When you walked into the front door, a small chandelier hung from the 8 foot ceiling. To the right was a formal sitting room, complete with french provincial style furniture and silk sheers that lined the entire front wall of windows. To the left was a hallway that led to two small bedrooms, a full bath and a den. The bathroom was purple from top to bottom, complete with a purple vinyl floors, tile, tub and toilet, in true 1960s fashion. I often thought "Who decided to make this bathroom purple?" It certainly wasn't my overall-wearing, cigar-smoking, grandpa!

The den was his domain. There was a TV (you know the kind that was built into a piece of furniture!) a heavy tweed chair + loveseat and a little leather footstool. My favorite part of that room was the black velvet damask wallpaper.(You can see a peek of it on the left side of the photo above!) It was so indulgent compared to the rest of the home and I can't tell you how many times I sat in there with my Papa smoking his cigar and me running my fingers across that wallpaper.

I don't have a ton of photos of that home but the memories of the interior design details are happy memories in my head. What are some of your favorite interior design memories? We all have them, and it's further proof that design matters. Your environment leaves lasting impressions on you. What impressions are being made by your current environment? Have a great weekend y'all!

2 about high point market

When I was growing up here in North Carolina, I never really got how much of a big deal it was that High Point Furniture Market #HPMkt was less than 2 hours away from my hometown. High Point is such a small little city with absolutely nothing going on. My mother is from Mt. Airy, which is not too far from High Point (and even smaller and slower), so I just had this impression of High Point as another town to be passed through on the highway. It wasn't until I became interested in interior design that I really grasped how influential the spring and fall markets at High Point really are. They are the Mercedes Benz Fashion Weeks of furniture. With that understanding came a strong desire to be apart! #HPMkt is exclusive to those within the furniture and design industry, and I have worked hard to position myself so that I can attend market, not just as a visitor but as a participant.

This is my gratuitous "I'm so happy to be here!" bathroom shot at Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams. :) Being able to attend this market was such milestone for me because I was able to do everything I have dreamed of doing. I visited exclusive showrooms, shook hands with the originators of huge brands. I was also really pleased to be a face of color in the almost completely "vanilla" market. I know it may not matter to some, but I'm always happy to represent those of us brown-skinned girls who love and work in design too.

I was able to choose from hundreds of fabric options and upholstery frames to design custom furnishings for the store. The showrooms themselves were inspiration overload! Imagine real life vignettes from Pinterest boards all jumbled together in one room.

Although I've been before, this time was significant for me because it reminded me that I'm exactly where I want to be in my career right now. I'm doing great in school, and looking forward to actually being DONE in December. I'm working for a great company that allows me to grow as well as practice the design skills I've learned over the last six years. PS - This little vignette reminded me so much of this space I did last year!


I'm so grateful to be at this point! And even though I'll always keep striving for more, it was nice to be able to just sit back and appreciate the moment. Have a great weekend y'all!

2 missing my studio

When I moved to Atlanta in 2009, my intention was to bum on the sofa of my (then) boyfriend's brother until I saved up enough money from my new job at J.Crew to get my own place. While they were playing video games, I would research apartments everyday and dream about how I would make it into a space of my own. Things didn't work out exactly as planned but when I finally did move into my own place in 2011, it was literally a dream come true. It may have not been the best studio, but it was mine! I will always love this "first place" of mine because I put so much love into it.

Ya'll saw peeks of it in the background of Design Talk webisodes, but I never gave you a proper tour. Mostly because I never really felt like it was "done". But today I am missing my studio and thought it would be fun to share a little bit of what it looked like before I moved out!


As you can see, a lot of the items in bedroom area were made by me or thrifted, which made the space really one of a kind. The paint color was from the Martha Stewart collection at Home Depot, and I am so sorry that I don't remember the name/color. And since a few people have asked, I am still selling my custom Afro Puff pillows! You can order one (or two!) right here.

I'm already dreaming about what my next place will be like!

6 happy new year!

2012 has been an amazing year for me! I think this is the first time in my life when I'm actually a bit sad to see the year end. Usually, I'm so excited about the next year that I don't have any hesitation about January 1st, but there was something really special about 2012.

I started out the year with an invite to Mercedes Benz NYFW courtesy of Brizo, celebrated 1000 Posts on this blog, appeared on HGTV's Design Wars and made another trip back to NYC for Blogfest.... All before June! We had a BALL doing Design Talk and hope to resume it in the new year. You can catch all the old webisodes here. I celebrated my birthday in May in the Big Apple with family and friends, then spent the summer diving into my new Design Studio Specialist position at Pottery Barn.

I worked with some awesome design clients at Pottery Barn, and on my own through SingleBubblePop. I continued to make my own "bachelorette suite" my own with some great vintage finds and DIY projects. I was able to do another awesome charity project with Room Service Atlanta as well, which definitely was one of my biggest highlights. Then I was featured in Southern Living Magazine; who would have ever predicted that one?

On a personal note, I can say that this year some new life-long friendships solidified, love was lost and found, and so many lessons learned. Atlanta really became home for me, after over 3 years. I am so thankful for the growing pains I went through, because I feel the rewards of it already.

I've been quiet here on the blog for the last couple months because I've been keeping a bit of a secret. Last week I packed up my apartment in Atlanta and moved back into my parent's home in Raleigh. Yep, I'm typing this blog post amongst boxes in my childhood bedrooom. Why?? Because a few months ago, I was awakened out of my sleep at about 2:30am with the realization that how I was living at the moment was not going to get me where I saw myself in 5 years.

Now, after I just told you how amazing a year I had, you may be confused. So was I. When it hit me, it was as if a storyline starring Niki McNeill was playing out in my head like a dream. I didn't speak about it out loud or share my thoughts with any of my family or friends at first because I thought I may have been going crazy. (Seriously!) But after a ton of thought & prayer, I realized that this was what I needed to do.

So what am I up to in Raleigh? I'll give you details tomorrow! I have every intention of taking y'all along for the ride. STAY TUNED!

5 blessed

I don't speak a lot about my faith here on the blog, but today I have to say that I'm feeling especially Favored. I don't believe in luck, nor do I believe that you gain success or advantages in life via hours and hours of hard work. Although anyone that knows me will tell you that I work VERY hard, I also make lots of mistakes along the way. Working hard can be the opposite of working smart, when you're busy being busy. What I know for sure is that a higher power than myself guides my steps and fills in when I'm not enough to be my best.

It may seem like I'm speaking randomly, but today as my episode of Design Wars airs on HGTV, the course of miracles that's led me to where I am today is blindingly apparent. When you watch me on TV today, just know that as I was filming this show last year, my personal life was pretty much a complete mess. As the makeup artist on set was touching up my face for the cameras, I didn't even know where I'd be living at the end of that month....

Appearing on this show was a pivotal moment for me for many reasons, and most importantly a reinforcement in my faith that as long as I keep doing my best, He'll fill in the rest. :) The Jill Scott song I posted above captures EXACTLY how I'm feeling; BLESSED.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has shouted me out over the last week, and PLEASE, let me know what you think about the show after you see it!

1 scholastic pursuit

The advantage of interior design blogs is that it makes the practice of design accessible for everyone. One of the disadvantages, however, is that just like any summary of a profession, blogging leaves out so much of the process! We (myself included) tend to focus on the fun part, the shopping, crafting & decorating of it all, and forget to enlighten our readers about the not so fun planning that goes into it. I know that a lot of what I studied in school I probably won't use in the everyday practice of interior design, but a good portion of it I do think is vital to being an excellent interior designer.

With that, take a look at this outstanding portfolio from recent graduate Barbara Pschirer. Her portfolio gives a great representation of how interior designers work from inception to completion. Job well done Barbara! ;)

Click to go full screen!